Vicky and the Royals

High profile events attract pop culture fashionistas like moths to a flame and when the celebs gather you can count on seeing clothes ranging from the fabulous to the foolish, at times even the frightening. Last month gave us two fine examples of fashion faux pas trotted out by the rich and famous.

The marriage of Kate Middleton to Prince William was the high pro event of the year and kudos to Kate and Bill for not peppering their guest list with pop celebrities. Two guests who stood out by virtue of their names and appearance were Victoria and David Beckham. Many bloggers and self-styled web-based journos gushed over Victoria’s boat-necked navy dress of her own design. We say, “Hey Vickie, it’s little more than a fuckin’ poncho! And who wears navy to a wedding?”

Whether you consider Mrs. Beckham a chic, stylish woman there’s no denying she is known for wearing outrageous heels. The clodhoppers Vicky chose for the Royal Wedding were custom made by Christian Louboutin and cost well over £1,000 (1,569 CAD). Some Royal Wedding watchers speculated whether her sour look was caused by foot pain brought on by wearing the overly-clunky 6-inch platforms.

The world’s most famous soccer mom topped her ensemble with a jaunty pillbox titfer by Philip Treacy that we actually liked but again, navy….why not cut to the chase and wear black?

A total look includes hair and makeup and here Victoria blew it. She wore evening makeup, inappropriate for a formal daytime event. Her overdone blush made her look more gaunt than usual and her dark eyes would’ve been more at home coming out of a nightclub ladies’, much like her clip-on ponytail.

Men have it much easier when it comes to high fashion dressing and David almost pulled off the perfect look, clad head to toe in Ralph Lauren (were all the Brit Saville Row tailors busy?). Unfortunately he wore his OBE (Order of the British Empire) on the wrong lapel. We suspect that when one is awarded an OBE he or she is given a pamphlet explaining the protocol around wearing the gong, but we also suspect the Beckhams are not big readers. When David was seen later in the day his OBE was pinned to the correct lapel; someone must’ve gotten to him.

There’s an interesting footnote to this story. Many people, myself included, do not buy Victoria’s pedigree as a designer but it seems Kate Middleton does. Apparently she asked Vicky for advice as to what to wear on her honeymoon and may even have chosen a few pieces from Beckham’s S/S 2011 RTW collection for the holiday. Unfortunately the young Royal’s honeymooned in the Seychelles sans media so juicy publicity photos were not forthcoming.

Research: Angelina Pieros
Sources: BBC, The Daily Mail, Martha Stewart Weddings, Neiman Marcus, Rex Features